Road Rider’s Burning Thighs

Submitted By RBR Reader Charlie Katz

(Sung to the tune of “Ghost Riders in the Sky”)

With apologies to, and deep respect for Stan Jones, Johnny Cash and Jens Voigt.

An older guy went ridin’ out one dark and windy day,
Atop a hill he crested as he went along his way,
When all at once a peloton of cyclists he then saw,
Drafting up the steepest grade, he held his breadth in awe.

Their jerseys were all matching and their rims were carbon light,
Their frames were also carbon as they pedaled with their might,
A bolt of fear went through him as they thundered right on by,
He’ll never be as fast as them, now hear his mournful cry.

Yippie eie aaaaaiiiiiieeee,
Yippie eie oooohhhhhhh,
Road rider’s burning thighs.

Their faces gaunt their eyes were blurred, their jerseys soaked in sweat,
He’s ridin’ hard to catch the herd but he ain’t caught ‘em yet,
‘Cause they’re ridin’ team equipment paid by sponsors they could thank,
And all he had between his legs, paid with savings from his bank.

As the riders increased distance, he heard one call his name,
If you think you can go faster boy you’ve got to up your game,
So old man change your ways today and with us you will ride,
Look down and mutter to yourself, “shut up you burning thighs”.

Yippie eie aaaaaiiiiiieeee
Yippie eie oooohhhhhhh
Road rider’s burning thighs
Road rider’s burning thighs
“Shut up you burning thighs”

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Charlie Katz started riding at age 5, but got serious at age 13 when he received an Atala 10-speed for his birthday. Over the following 57 years, he has ridden a variety of road bikes, owned a bike shop while in college, and spent many non-working hours on a bike. After living in Colorado for 15 years riding a number of centuries including Elephant Rock, Triple By-Pass, Stonewall, Buffalo Bicycle Classic, and Durango Fall Blaze, Charlie, his wife Cindy, and 2 dogs moved to Jerusalem, Israel, where he continues to ride his Trek Domane 5.2.