by Scott Martin
You want to be a cool cyclist, right? Of course you do. That means navigating the treacherous, roiling waters of cycling style, starting with your…
This one used to be easy: Serious roadies wore white, ankle-high socks. Then colored socks got popular. (Thanks a lot, mountain bikers.) More recently, we’ve seen mid-calf socks designed to “keep your Achilles warm” — and possibly sell more socks. And now there are compression socks and sleeves that can cover your entire leg up to your knee. The only surefire tip: Never go sockless, unless you’re a track sprinter. Why? You could ask them, but they’re big and mean, so I wouldn’t recommend it.
The key here is how your shades look when you’re not wearing them. For maximum coolness, you must be able to turn your glasses upside-down and slip the temples into your helmet vents. Do not buy a pair of $13.99 cheapos from Walgreens because they will fall out and get smashed by your rear wheel. Don’t ask how I know this.
First, make sure you don’t wear your lid backward. Yes, I’ve seen it happen. Next, don’t have the front tilted skyward with your forehead glinting in the sun. Finally, trim the excess strap. Anything more than a couple of inches screams “Nerd.” But don’t trim the strap too short or you can never adjust your helmet again. Don’t ask how I know this.
If they have holes, it’s time to retire them to trainer-only status. Yes, you have a nice butt. No, we don’t want to see it. Same goes for shorts that have been washed so many times that the side panels resemble see-through lingerie. Unless you’re sponsored by Frederick’s of Hollywood, or Victoria’s Secret.