By Kevin Kolodziejski
Here’s a surefire way to make your head ache as if you’re in the midst of a pulsating migraine that’s triggered a good deal of nausea and a little bit of vomiting. Write anything or attempt to write anything that’s complete, comprehensive, exhaustive.
Anything that’s all-encompassing.
You’d think I’d far rather finger the keyboard lightly than press upon my temples forcefully while on my knees in prayer to the porcelain god. You’d think that would be reason enough to limit my writings to me, you, and the physical and mental benefits of doing this thing we do. But it just doesn’t work that way. In large part because, in my mind, this thing isn’t bicycling but cycling.
It’s Not Really Bicycling You See
In a prior article, you learned my reasoning for this bicycling/cycling hair splitting. To me, the latter term is more — and here’s that word again — all-encompassing. Everything thing that comes to mind when you think of bicycling, plus the lifestyle you lead when you come to love it. And that love creates a certain mentality.
You become, as I like to say, a “cycologist.”
One who studies the human mind, its functions, and how it affects behavior while — at least some of the time — on two wheels and at a good speed. One who can’t help but see the ways in which so many things are connected. See the world’s interrelatedness. So I can’t — nor do I want to — stop that pain akin to a migraine.
The True Intention For This Introduction
It’s not for my catharsis, self-aggrandizement, or to give you insight into the inner workings of my mind. In fact, there may not be a name for it. It’s just honest, as well as liberating. For it provides the rationale to write about just about anything under the sun.
Even “bed rotting.”
Yeah, yeah, I know. Many Gen Xers, Gen Yers, and even more Gen Zers will tell me to crawl out from under my circa-1970s Pet Rock. That bed rotting as a social media phenomenon has come and gone.
But in this cycologist’s opinion, it epitomizes the new pseudo-knowledge that’s a big part of what historians may one day call the Information Onslaught. Though I imagine dietitians will stick to another term currently in use and unquestionably merited: the Obesity Epidemic. The two terms, though, are certainly related. Just ask Penn Jillette.
Penn Jillette on the ‘Wicked Ugly’
Jillette says: “For 50 million years our biggest problems were too few calories, too little information. For about 50 years our biggest problem has been too many calories, too much information. We have to adjust, and I believe we will really fast. I also believe it will be wicked ugly.”
The credentials that followed that quotation when it appeared at Wordsmith.org called Jillette a magician, actor, musician, inventor, television presenter, and author. It made no mention he’s part of the popular magic act called Penn & Teller or whether he bicycles in the way that would make him a cycologist. But his words help explain why it’s crucial for you to be one:
Because for no amount of time is “wicked ugly” the way your brain and your belly have to be. Not if your thoughts are firmly grounded in cycology. Case in point: this trend called “bed rotting.”
Bed Rotting ‘Disbenefit’ Number 1
For cyber-ciphers like me ensconced under any type of rock, this concept called bed rotting went viral sometime last year, so much so that by August posts about it had been viewed more than 130 million times on TikTok, according to a Health.com article. Proponents of the practice claim remaining in bed for a day — or even an entire weekend — while you scroll on your phone, binge watch shows, and snack for sustenance provides “relaxation and an escape from life’s problems” as writes Amy Morin in a Psychology Today article. But, if you’re thinking like a cycologist, you’ll recognize, as a British one would say, the “disbenefits” of doing this.
First is what you’re not doing, sometimes for as long as a weekend. Moving about. And all the while you’re treating yourself to junk food. Because, after all, bed rotting’s designed to be an indulgence. Not to mention, actually standing up to cook a healthy meal would ruin the rot.
Talk about a solid strategy for creating something you certainly don’t want: additional LBs of fat. And talk about not facing up to what a cycologist learns to embrace. Obstacles.
‘The Obstacle Is the Way’
That statement’s a saying of Ryan Holiday’s that he also uses as the title of a book that explains a Stoic’s worldview, one that often aligns with a cycologist’s. What this cycologist takes from Holiday’s phrase is that somewhere inside each problem is the solution to it. But to find what can seem to be the proverbial needle in the haystack, you need to do aerobic work with a pitchfork — and you can’t do that lying on your back, phone in one hand, Twinkie in the other.
Moreover, if the problem has led to anxious feelings or even depression, bed rotting could do worse than delay the battle. It could further hurt your mental health.
In Morin’s aforementioned article, the licensed therapist, psychotherapist, and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do links physical inactivity to anxiety and depression and notes “the longer you stay inactive . . . the greater the risk of developing or worsening anxiety and/or depression, which can reduce motivation and spur fatigue.” So while the idea of bed rotting may be tempting, good mental health requires three things you won’t get from it: real social interaction, physical activity, and an answer to a problem.
So Instead of Rotting in Bed
While it’s all well and good for me to bad-mouth bed rotting, it’s better if I offer an alternative. Mine starts with a phenomenon any cycologist consistently experiences and Rich Roll, author of five exercise- and diet-related books and the host a popular podcast, summarizes like this: “Mood follows action.”
In other words, when it comes to turning a bad mood good, riding is better than rotting.
So if you are feeling overwhelmed or burned out because of other situations in your life, get out and ride. Even if you feel burned out from riding, that’s still no reason to bed rot. Just a sign to back off.
Cut your next scheduled ride in half, keep it flat, the chain in the little ring, and ride so slowly that kids on scooters pass you. Once done with your half-ride, use at least some of the leftover time to do the cycologist’s equivalent to bed rotting. Lie on the floor and elevate your legs against a wall. Maybe even nap for 20 minutes or so while you’re at it.
It you’ve really overdone it and burned your cycling motivation down to the absolute ground, follow this abbreviated riding plan for a full week.
P.S.
Just so you know, I argued against bed rotting without ever mentioning what many health experts see as its worst consequence: a disruption of your sleep patterns that —ironically enough — drain instead of recharge your internal batteries.
Kevin Kolodziejski began his writing career in earnest in 1989. Since then he’s written a weekly health and fitness column and his articles have appeared in magazines such as “MuscleMag,” “Ironman,” “Vegetarian Times,” and “Bicycle Guide.” He has Bachelor and Masters degrees in English from DeSales and Kutztown Universities.
A competitive cyclist for more than 30 years, Kevin won two Pennsylvania State Time Trial championships in his 30’s, the aptly named Pain Mountain Time Trial 4 out of 5 times in his 40s, two more state TT’s in his 50’s, and the season-long Pennsylvania 40+ BAR championship at 43.
Richard Rogers says
Much appreciated!
Dr. Matt Wachsman, MD PhD says
Bed Rotting is just a bad idea.
Bed becomes associated with videogaming, eating, and lots of activities that stimulate and not set you up for sleep. It is the antithesis of sleep hygiene.
There’s exercise benefits … which this is, again, antithetical to, and even more issues from not getting out of bed. There is discontrol of the blood pressure system…ok.. this was the only treatment for hypertension 100 or more years ago, presumably you kicked the leeches out of the bed at some point.
The lymphatic system isn’t going to work. Read up on what it does. It won’t do any of that if you bed rot.
Evrything the body does for maintenance–temperature, hormones, digestion, yeah, all going to be goofed up by this. Circadian rhythm … gone…temperature regulation…gone…. gut motility decreased.
FR says
I never do the bed rotting thing, even at 70 years old I’m too hyper to do that!
As far as migraines go, sometimes I get those, but as soon as I sense a migraine coming on I immediately use some peppermint oil on my index finger and then rub it inside my nostrils, apply it twice, and the headache most of the time goes away without any meds within about 10 minutes. If for some reason it still refuses to go away then I make some coffee and take 1 Excedrin Migraine pill, and 1 Sinus headache pill, plus apply more peppermint oil, that combination will for sure kill the migraine. Rubbing the temples thing, or rubbing an ear lobe, or rubbing my hand in the right spot, none of that ever worked for me. The good thing is that as I have gotten older the fewer migraines I’ve had, at my peak, I was getting them about once a month, but that gradually has slowed down to about once a year.
Jim Langley says
Thank you for the migraine solutions FR, much appreciated!
Jim
David Kamp says
Kevin, this is wisdom beyond words! A good number of your readers, like me, are septuagenarians, and have, without realizing it, become cycologists, amateurs most likely. By reading the referenced books in your article, you’ve graduated to professional cycologist. We “elders” have had to adapt as our bodies change. Some of that adaptation is simply facing reality that going a bit slower will happen. BUT, one doesn’t have to sacrifice “form”. Regardless of intensity or speed, ride a bike with good form, smooth spin, suplesse. I learned this not on the bike, rather in the pool. In a year’s long recovery from “polymyalgia rheumatica” (PMR) I quit fighting the clock in the pool, and went to workouts with form. Focus on the core, get the high elbows with clean centered stroke recovery, lengthen the stroke, rotate the hips, and just don’t go so hard that your heart rate is pegged at max. Swimology? Maybe just like “cycology!” The pool work, laps after laps, yoga, extra stretching, return to weight training, more yoga and pilates, balance exercises, and a good amount of time on the bike have helped immeasurably. I’ll be happy to correspond with you about PMR and rheumatoid arthritis and the pharmaceuticals that a rheumatologist prescribes (and my push-back on drugs).
Maven says
Bed rotting: I take the New Yorker or Sierra Club magazine to bed, lucky to get through a page before falling asleep, magazine hitting the floor, because there’s enough cycology going on, I’m tired.