How should we handle the guy who’s late to every group ride?
Question: One rider in our regular Sunday group is late every single week. Not occasionally. Every week. And here’s the part that really gets me: right at start time, he texts one of us “almost there,” which somehow obligates the whole group to keep standing in the parking lot, because leaving feels rude once you know he’s coming. Last week “almost there” turned out to be 15 more minutes. He’s a friend and a strong rider and I don’t want drama, but I’ve started to dread the text more than the headwind. Do we just roll at the posted time and let him chase? —Greg M.
RBR’S STAN PURDUM REPLIES: Years ago, I led a weekly study group that met on a weekday evening. One man, who was a strong contributor to the discussion, always arrived about 15 minutes late, which was disruptive since the conversation had already started, and as the leader, I felt it necessary to provide a quick catch-up review so he could jump in and contribute. So one day, after our group meeting, I asked him if it would help if we scheduled the start time 15 minutes later. He said, “No, I know myself. I’d probably still be 15 minutes late no matter what time we start.”
Another true story: My wife spent the last several years of her nursing career as director of nursing at a facility for people who needed a lot of daily care. One problem occurred around the shift-change times, when some staff members were often or always late arriving, meaning the people they were replacing had to remain on duty until the latecomers got there. So finally, the administrator decided to offer an additional $50 each pay period to all hourly employees who arrived on time each day they were scheduled to work during that period. No other strings were attached to the $50—just show up on time. My wife told me that some employees never qualified for the bonus.
What these two anecdotes illustrate, I think, is that habitual lateness is something more than losing track of time. Psychologists say the explanation can run from poor planning to the desire to complete just one more thing before departure to an assumption that everything will go perfectly en route to a neurological condition (apparently it’s common in people with ADHD), and more. See this article from Cleveland Clinic on chronic lateness.
In general, people who are chronically late don’t intend any disrespect to the parties waiting on them, but it’s also probable that bringing their lateness to their attention won’t result in any long-term improvement in their running-late habit. See more here.
Regarding your group ride, you’re probably best to begin at the posted time and let him chase. In effect, this is a form of boundary setting. But it would be good to inform him ahead of time that such will be the policy — his texted messages notwithstanding. Don’t have this conversation at the moment he’s arrived late; pick a neutral time, and acknowledge you know he means no disrespect to the group, but that for the good of the schedules of other riders, the start times will be adhered to.
Having to chase a couple of times may be enough to get him to leave home earlier thereafter, but if it doesn’t, and you still want to ride with him, you may be able to plan a few one-on-one rides, getting comfortable with the reality that they probably won’t start on time.
If you make starting the ride on time a standard practice, you may want to have a group discussion about when you will make an exception. For example, how will you handle the start when you hear from someone who is never late that they’ve had a last-minute problem and will be delayed a few minutes? In that case, one solution might be that the ride will begin on time but that a few riders will wait for the latecomer so they can chase together.
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Stan Purdum has ridden several long-distance bike trips, including an across-America ride recounted in his book Roll Around Heaven All Day, and a trek on U.S. 62, from Niagara Falls, New York, to El Paso, Texas, the subject of his book Playing in Traffic. Stan, a freelance writer and editor, lives in Ohio. See more at www.StanPurdum.com.
