Al's Fast & Easy Bike Cleaning

DEAR UNCLE AL:  I hear you loud and clear about keeping bikes clean, but I'd really rather ride my bike during my spare time, not clean it. For those of us who hate all cleaning, bike or house, what is the fastest way to clean the bike or drivetrain to keep it in good (acceptable) condition? -- Mark G.

UNCLE AL FIRES BACK:  After every ride, take a can of Pledge furniture polish and spray it on your frame, avoiding the rims and brake pads. Wipe it down good.

Or, if you've ridden in the wet, mist the bike with a hose, spray on Simple Green Bike Cleaner/Degreaser foam, let it sit a few, spray it off, then dry with a soft clean cloth.

The Pledge approach takes about 5 minutes. The Simple Green approach takes longer, but you can shower while the foam works its magic.

The secret to chain cleaning is to use a dry lube, let it really dry and don't over lube, which nearly everyone does. I lube my chain when a link starts to chirp, never before.

Put one drop of lube on each roller. Don't drown the chain, and don't wipe it down with a rag. You'll just force the surface dirt into the rollers, which are the working surface of the chain.

If you make this a ritual, your bike will never get really dirty (rainy rides excepted), so cleaning will be so quick that it won't cut into riding time.

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Noisy Ultegra Levers

HEY UNC:  I have 1998 Shimano Ultegra STI brake/shift levers. They work fine, but the incessant rattling of the plastic caps drives me crazy. Is there anything I can do to end this madness? -- Carl J.

UNCLE AL FIRES BACK:  Annoying, isn't it? First, you need to be sure you haven't lost the tiny screws that go in the backside of the small secondary levers. If you're not certain, go to your local shop. They know which ones I'm talking about. If the screws are missing, Shimano can supply replacements.

If the screws aren't missing, you have two choices: Replace the levers with new ones, which have glorified rubber bands to stop the rattling. That's a pricey remedy, or course. Or, you can do as I do and gently rest your fingers on the small secondary levers, which rattle against the primary levers. That's the source of the noise.

Any of you Nieces or Nephews got another remedy?

TIP FROM ERIK N.:  The new generation of Ultegra solves the rattling lever by adding a glorified rubber band-like cushion on the small inner lever. So I imitated that cushion on my '98 levers by wrapping a thin layer of foamy double-sided poster tape around the small lever at precisely the point where the two blades touch. I then covered the sticky bumper with a piece of black plastic electrician's tape. This mutes the rattling but doesn't interfere with the function of the lever. This makeshift bumper actually looks the same as Shimano's.

TIP FROM MICHAEL M.:  Before my '99 Ultegra levers quit working altogether, I muted the rattling with a rubber band made from a strip of old inner tube. I wrapped it a couple of times around the small lever, then slid it up to where it would cushion the vibration against the large lever. It wasn't perfect but it helped a lot.

TIP FROM DEVON S.:  Go to the plumbing section of a hardware store and get O rings that will stretch over the end of the small lever. Adjust it along the lever until the rattling stops. If necessary, use two.

TIP FROM JIM R.:  I put my daughter's orthodontic bands around the two levers to reduce the rattling of the small one.

TIP FROM DOUG H.:  Sometime it's the two levers vibrating against each other, but often the rattling comes from the plastic caps. An easy solution is to pop them off and go commando! They have no function anyway, except to serve as miniature billboards for Shimano -- and to drive you crazy with the rattling.

TIP FROM CHRIS L.:  Those caps are snapped on at the factory and apparently can't be removed without breaking. After listening to their noise, I didn't care. I pried them off, which broke a little piece, then glued them back in place with epoxy. No rattling ever since.

TIP FROM THOMAS G.:  I put a drop or two of Shoe Goo under the caps while they were still on the levers. The Goo dries to a durable state that's not quite permanent, so you could still get the caps off if you need to. No rattles for several months of heavy use!

TIP FROM BILL R.:  My solution was replacement caps from Shimano that snapped into place after popping off the old ones. These stopped the rattling for a couple of years but now it's returned. I just ride with my palms over the hoods to preserve my sanity.

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Installing Tight Tires

DEAR UNCLE AL:  I’m having a tough time mounting tires on my Mavic MA-40 rims.

I was running Specialized Turbo Armadillo tires, which were difficult to get on and off. In an effort find an easier tire, I tried a folding Michelin. It was impossible to mount. I did get some Vittorias on with the old soapy water trick, but that isn't something I would usually be able to do on the road.

My local shop guy blames the rims. Another shop says it’s the tires. So what's the story? -- Glenn K.

UNCLE AL FIRES BACK:  It's possible that your MA-40s are the problem, but not likely. I see much more variation in tire bead seat diameters than rims, although the industry standard accepts about a 4-mm discrepancy in rim circumference. (The bead is the open edge of the tire on both sides.)

Mavic rims are generally spot on, and the tires you've chosen are built with accuracy.

However, I’ve seen cases where a rim was on the big side of the 4-mm variable and the tire was on the small side. You’d play hell mounting the tire without shredding the tube.

Trek used to make a Matrix rim that seemed a little big. Continental, with their exacting standards, made some clincher tires that seemed small. If you tried to mix these two, visions of crowbars would dance in your head. (Maybe for use on the manufacturers’ heads?)

But in most cases, tires that won’t mount can be blamed on operator error. Follow these basic rules to accomplish the task and ease your mind:

1.  Always use talc. Rema makes a version specifically for bike tires, although any talcum powder or corn starch will do. Talc allows the tube to move freely inside the tire so it doesn't interfere with the tire/rim interface. Most tube pinching is caused by the tube getting wedged between the rim, the tire and your tire levers. Generous use of talc reduces the risk.

2.  Put a little air in your tube to give it some shape, then push the valve stem through the rim and feed the tube inside the tire. (I’m assuming one side of the tire is already on the rim. Don’t try to put the whole shebang on at once, a common mistake.)

3.  Start seating the tire. Begin at the valve. Don’t pull the valve tight to the rim yet, or the bead will not seat there and will blow off during inflation.

4.  Work away from the valve with both hands in opposite directions. Use your thumbs to push the bead up and onto the rim.

5.  Say what? It won’t go on? That last little bit is the toughest. Let all the air out and keeping thumbing. Pinch the tire all the way around so both beads go into the rim’s deep center, and thumb some more.

6.  Still won’t go? Hold the bead in place with one hand and use your tire lever, a little at a time, to pry the bead the rest of the way. I can almost always get it on with my thumbs, but they’re very strong from choking people with mailorder catalogs and price questions.

7.  Finish by pushing the valve stem up into the tire, then pull it down again. Go around the wheel, flexing the tire from side to side to be sure the tube is not trapped under the bead. Add some air, check again for tube entrapment (illegal in 48 states) and inflate fully. This whole process should take about five minutes, max.

Talc is the secret! My spare tubes sit in their own plastic bags full of talc in my repair kit. I look like I've abused a banned substance when I'm done fixing a flat, but I'm back on the road in no time and my riding buddies are amazed at how quickly I've done it.

DEAR UNCLE AL:  Due to carpal tunnel syndrome, I have reduced strength and sensation in my hands. It impairs my ability to remount the tire bead after I have fixed a flat. This has caused some long, lonely, frustrating battles with my Michelin Pros, especially compared to wire-bead Continental Gatorskins. It also seems that tires with a wider cross-section, like 25-28C, are less hassle. Have you any tire/rim suggestions to get the easiest re-mounts? -- Mark R.

UNCLE AL FIRES BACK:  Marco, I'm going to assume you are always using tire levers to mount or remove your tires. They'll save you a lot of grief, especially if you have diminished hand strength. Use the long-handled Quik-Stik, or try the Crank Brothers Speed Lever.

I also suggest sticking with wire-bead tires rather than Kevlar. They're generally easier to mount, as you have discovered. Larger-section tires are easier to mount, too.

A 700x25C Continental Gatorskin on a Mavic Open Pro rim should be a good combo for weight, reliability and ease of mounting. Avoid Campy rims and Conti tires as a combo, unless you have a crowbar handy. Don't use Tufo tires, the hardest to mount we've ever tried.

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